Books, Books & more Books - My Book List for Transformation

At this point, I would like to mention a few books that have supported me on my path to healing. Bear with me, this turned into a long post, so I’ll be breaking it into two. That way, you won’t have to scroll through endless essays on my experiences with these books.

After being completely absorbed in a toxic narcissistic relationship for a long time, it is essential to devote yourself fully to the healing process.

Therapy is important—whether through a therapist with whom you can talk or a support group where you can share your experiences.

Coaching and various methods beyond traditional talk therapy can also be incredibly helpful. I will go into more detail on this in a future post.

However, there is also a wealth of literature available to support this journey. Today, I want to introduce a few books that I have personally read and whose exercises and advice I have applied.

"Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood

This book explores the phenomenon of women in relationships often neglecting their own needs and instead overly focusing on their partner. These behavioral patterns can stem from low self-esteem or childhood experiences.

In addition to the psychological background, the book offers guidance on how women can learn to cultivate healthier relationships by valuing themselves more and taking their own needs seriously.

My experience with "Women Who Love Too Much"

As I read, I wondered: Had I loved Lucas too much? The book described women drawn to men not for their charm but for their pain—the desire to fix, save, or change them.

At first, I didn’t find Lucas particularly attractive, despite everyone saying how handsome he was. But as my feelings deepened, so did my perception of him.

The feeling that he was "my person" was so strong that I completely gave myself to him. I was convinced that he was meant for me. He listened to me, captivated me, I could have listened to him for hours. He told me that, for the first time, he wasn’t bored in a relationship, unlike with other women who had always bored him.

When he opened up about his difficult relationship with his mother, I felt and shared his pain. When he cried and spoke about "how terrible women can be," I sensed his deep resentment toward them.

I believed I could change his perspective on women through my love.

I didn’t just want to take care of him, I wanted him to love me. By being there for him, I sought the love I had never received from my mother. He was exciting, fascinating, completely distracting me from myself. From my own needs, fears, emotions, and the feeling of wandering aimlessly through life.

This book forced me to ask: Why did I stay, even when all he reflected back was the worst in me? This book also taught me that the way I loved and cared for him was exactly how I should have been loving and caring for myself. But I didn’t, I neglected my own needs, searching for validation and love outside of me, instead of within.

"You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse" by Melanie Tonia Evans

This book focuses on breaking free from narcissistic abuse and reveals how deeply victims can become trapped in toxic relationships.

Melanie Tonia Evans shares her personal experiences with two consecutive toxic relationships, making her method feel relatable and accessible. She introduces Quantum Healing and provides a practical guide with meditations that can be practiced independently using the book. For those wanting to go deeper, she also offers a course.

The meditations are designed to help victims heal their wounds, reclaim their self-worth, and learn to establish healthy boundaries.

My Experience with "You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse"

Leaving him didn’t bring relief, it brought unbearable pain. I was breaking down in tears uncontrollably ,screaming, crying, until it felt like I was leaving my body, like I was vomiting out my insides.

By chance (or fate), I had committed to dog-sitting in a city where I knew no one. It became my refuge, giving me space to face the emotions I had suppressed for so long.

Every morning, I chose a meditation from the book and wrote down my answers to the accompanying questions. This helped me recognize patterns—how my relationship was deeply linked to painful childhood memories.

It was exhausting. So much came up. At times, I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore, as if I were deliberately throwing myself into more pain on top of what was already there.

But each meditation, each moment of self-confrontation, lightened the weight.

This book helps to uncover connections and underlying wounds not just on a mental level, but also on a physical and emotional level—guiding you toward real healing.

Final Thoughts on Part 1.

After just a few months, I already feel impatient. I sometimes fear that I will never fully let go, that the pain will never truly subside. But with time I am lealing that healing from a toxic relationship is about self-awareness, reflection, and beeing active. It requires patience, dedication, and, most of all, the courage to face myself honestly.These books gave me tools to understand my past and begin breaking free from destructive patterns.

📖 Stay tuned for Part 2. Tomorrow I will share more books that deepened my healing journey and can also help you on your path.

Be well,

Vaselisa